Too busy to blog

Sorry I've not posted in a while. I've been super busy trying to get some things done. I've been working on some hairbows that Kristi's mom takes along to craft shows with her children's clothing, planning a shower for a friend, making some things for my house, and getting some clothes together for a biannual consignment event. On top of it all, I'm cooking our twice a month supper for church tomorrow night. Maybe these pictures will give you an idea of how busy I've been. Hopefully, I'll have something profound to post about in the next few days, but for now, you're stuck with some pictures of my junk.

Hairbows!!!!

I got this idea from a link from Nester.

I'm hoping this will grant me some more spending money!

Was it a depression?



I started out the weekend in a funk.

You know, the kind where you just can't figure out what is wrong but you can't stop crying. Sometimes I wonder if it's depression. Rob insisted that I explain what was wrong, but I couldn't. I prayed hard that it would pass. I also decided on a little "friend" time, some good food, a little wine (to be honest), and some retail therapy.

It helped.

I came home Saturday evening, took two Tylenol PM (wine headache), and thought a good deep sleep might clear my mind. Then I realized I couldn't sleep. Isn't that crazy? Even with Tylenol PM? Anyway, I was up every hour. And finally, at about 2:00, I realized that I was not going to be able to sleep anyway because the wind was blowing like crazy. I had just received a weather text from TWC indicating that we were under a "high wind warning". I wasn't really worried. We have very few trees in our fairly new neighborhood and it didn't seem too bad. But then I started to worry about my grandparents. They live in an old neighborhood with one of the oldest trees in Walnut Ridge in their front yard. That tree has to be over 6 or 7 feet in diameter. Just one limb falling from that tree could obliterate their house. I prayed hard over it and tried to sleep some more.

We were up and down for the next few hours watching the lights flicker and listening to the creak of every piece of wood in our house. It made me quite uneasy. At 5:30, it seemed that our electricity was gone for good. We rode out the rest of the morning a little stuffy, trying to catch a few more winks. I did get to have a really good dream where I got to tell someone I don't particularly like how much I don't like them. It was a very therapeutic dream ;)

At 7:00, daylight called and we rolled out of bed to survey any damage in our yard. Our yard seemed clear. Then Rob's dad called to tell us that a tree in my mom's yard (actually it was just about at our property line with hers) had been uprooted. As I said, trees are few in our neighborhood and this one was easily one of the biggest we had--a beautiful weeping willow that had become known as "the secret tree" to my children and their Nanny. We were glad no one was hurt, but we were all a bit sad to lose an old friend.

We spent the rest of the morning without power. Most of the town was without power and we called off services at our small church because we had no power there, either. Seems that all of the power crews were deployed to Texas this week (including my brother) and only a skeleton crew was left behind here in Arkansas. Needless the say, the power companies were not prepared for the amount of damage here and, honestly, they were most needed in the more devastated state of Texas.

Being without power, however, was a true blessing. There were no TVs and no internet. We ate french toast (we never have french toast). We opened the windows and let the now gentle and cool breeze blow through our house. We went for a stroller ride and then a car ride around town to see the rest of the damage. We ate lunch with friends at a restaurant in Pocahontas that had power and came home to find our electricity was on. The entire family came to see the tree cut apart. It was sad, but it was such a good day.

The winds were, of course, the remnants of Ike passing over Arkansas and, I heard they were considered a "tropical depression" as they moved through. Maybe the winds were enough to blow my threatening "depression" away. Maybe God knew just what I needed. I sure hope so.

**Here are some picture of the secret tree. The picture at the beginning of the post was from about two years ago**

**And BTW, my retail therapy resulted in an adorable furry little brown dress coat and hat for Avery at TJMaxx and some pumkins and pedestals for my mantle. Watch for pictures! They are both brag worthy**

Who Am I and Why Am I HERE?

When I graduated from high school, there was no doubt that I would go to college. Nobody asked me if that was what I really wanted to do or even assumed that I would choose anything different. My parents were hard working, middle class parents with high school diplomas. They proved to me every day that life would have been so much easier with a secondary education.

When I graduated from college, there was no doubt that I would get a job. Although my son was born one week before I graduated with my master's degree, I knew that at some point, I would go to work.

And I did go to work. I was blessed to have my mother in law to be a caregiver for my son while I was at work so I had minimal guilt for leaving him. And, when the time came, he started public kindergarten in our small, rural town in Northeastern Arkansas. My daughter, who came along 5 years later, stays with my mother in law as well and will start public preschool in January.

I've never felt guilt about working outside of the home. I've never felt guilty about sending my son to public school. Until now.

Recently, I have become much more aware of the unspoken battle between stay-at-home/homeschooling moms and working moms. I've heard lots of SAH moms talking about "their calling", being "fully mom, fully wife", and the advantages of homeschooling your children. But I hear very little justification from the other side. My side.

Just recently, I've started to feel guilty. But the guilt is not due to any family concerns that are calling me to stay home. (Except the fact that I am feeling pulled in a gazillion directions because my husband is working full time and is going to school full time--but this is a short term problem) The only explanation I have for my guilt is worrying about what others are saying about what their reasons are for staying at home and homeschooling. Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming anyone for my guilt. But, it has got me to thinking about the justifications for my decision to send my kids to school and work outside the home.

I haven't come to any profound decisions about why I work. Sure, I feel that my job is somewhat rewarding and sometimes I feel like I might be helping somebody. But why are those people more important than my own children? Why isn't God calling me to put them first? Am I wrong?

I also realize that God has a definite plan for our lives. Often, I look back and think about the experiences I have had in the workforce. I have definitely been blessed by several Godly friends that I know God placed in my life that I would have never have encountered had it not been for working outside the home.

So whether my decisions in the past were based on selfish desires, I'm not sure. I wonder if my decisions were just made based on what I "knew"--this is what I was supposed to do. Maybe I was called by God to make those decisions. All that I know now is that I can't worry about the decisions I made in the past. At this time in my life, working is not an option either financially or personally. I have to make the best of what I've made of my life and pray that God will meet me where I am.

My goal is to become a living example of what a Christian woman looks like. No, I won't have time to teach my children the Torah or any verses in Hebrew, for that matter. But I hope to make my life a living example. I want to show my children that taking what is not mine is wrong and that giving to others is paramount. If I have to do this at Wal Mart on the way home from school or at a quick trip to the gas station or waiting in line at McDonalds because we are eating out again, then so be it.

I won't boast that my plan is the best way, because I don't know that it is. I can't even say that I have directed my decisions by a set plan. I do know that the Lord has a plan for my life and that sometimes following it seems hard. I'll just trust that He knows best.

Proverbs 19:21

"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails."

It was the best of times.......???

Last Sunday night, Amanda and Jeremy and Rob and I took our kids to the Redbirds game in Memphis. Typically, these games are very laid back, with small crowds and a real small town atmosphere.

Well, evidently, we picked the wrong game.

It was the last series of the summer and the last game where they have fireworks after the game. This drew a record crowd - over 18,000 fans. We ended up buying standing room only tickets (we all got in for $24 with some coupons-yea!) so technically, we had no seats. We ended up sitting in a section where my mom, Fred, and my brother's family were sitting. It was an interesting evening, to say the least. I can't go into all of the detail. But, let me tell you a few words to describe the event: HOT, LONG, LOUD, CROWDED, OVERSTIMULATING, HOT. The combination of these things was a little much for all of us. Especially when two of the four children have sensory processing issues and one of the four is potty training. I seriously don't remember watching even one second of the actual ballgame.

To make a long story short, it was the best of times...... it was the worst of times. We were so glad to get out of the house and spend some fun times with our friends and family. It was worth it.

The lady in charge of the slide was a bit passive, to say the least. Her attempts at getting the kids off of the slide when their turns were over had me laughing my head off. We finally had to wrangle them off ourselves

Addie, Avery, and Mason

Tate and Maddox (his cuz)

P. S. I didn't forget about Friday Favorite........... Sarah Palin. No apologies.