Sunday, September 14, 2008

Was it a depression?

I started out the weekend in a funk.

You know, the kind where you just can't figure out what is wrong but you can't stop crying. Sometimes I wonder if it's depression. Rob insisted that I explain what was wrong, but I couldn't. I prayed hard that it would pass. I also decided on a little "friend" time, some good food, a little wine (to be honest), and some retail therapy.

It helped.

I came home Saturday evening, took two Tylenol PM (wine headache), and thought a good deep sleep might clear my mind. Then I realized I couldn't sleep. Isn't that crazy? Even with Tylenol PM? Anyway, I was up every hour. And finally, at about 2:00, I realized that I was not going to be able to sleep anyway because the wind was blowing like crazy. I had just received a weather text from TWC indicating that we were under a "high wind warning". I wasn't really worried. We have very few trees in our fairly new neighborhood and it didn't seem too bad. But then I started to worry about my grandparents. They live in an old neighborhood with one of the oldest trees in Walnut Ridge in their front yard. That tree has to be over 6 or 7 feet in diameter. Just one limb falling from that tree could obliterate their house. I prayed hard over it and tried to sleep some more.

We were up and down for the next few hours watching the lights flicker and listening to the creak of every piece of wood in our house. It made me quite uneasy. At 5:30, it seemed that our electricity was gone for good. We rode out the rest of the morning a little stuffy, trying to catch a few more winks. I did get to have a really good dream where I got to tell someone I don't particularly like how much I don't like them. It was a very therapeutic dream ;)

At 7:00, daylight called and we rolled out of bed to survey any damage in our yard. Our yard seemed clear. Then Rob's dad called to tell us that a tree in my mom's yard (actually it was just about at our property line with hers) had been uprooted. As I said, trees are few in our neighborhood and this one was easily one of the biggest we had--a beautiful weeping willow that had become known as "the secret tree" to my children and their Nanny. We were glad no one was hurt, but we were all a bit sad to lose an old friend.

We spent the rest of the morning without power. Most of the town was without power and we called off services at our small church because we had no power there, either. Seems that all of the power crews were deployed to Texas this week (including my brother) and only a skeleton crew was left behind here in Arkansas. Needless the say, the power companies were not prepared for the amount of damage here and, honestly, they were most needed in the more devastated state of Texas.

Being without power, however, was a true blessing. There were no TVs and no internet. We ate french toast (we never have french toast). We opened the windows and let the now gentle and cool breeze blow through our house. We went for a stroller ride and then a car ride around town to see the rest of the damage. We ate lunch with friends at a restaurant in Pocahontas that had power and came home to find our electricity was on. The entire family came to see the tree cut apart. It was sad, but it was such a good day.

The winds were, of course, the remnants of Ike passing over Arkansas and, I heard they were considered a "tropical depression" as they moved through. Maybe the winds were enough to blow my threatening "depression" away. Maybe God knew just what I needed. I sure hope so.

**Here are some picture of the secret tree. The picture at the beginning of the post was from about two years ago**

**And BTW, my retail therapy resulted in an adorable furry little brown dress coat and hat for Avery at TJMaxx and some pumkins and pedestals for my mantle. Watch for pictures! They are both brag worthy**


Apple said...

Sometimes I ask myself the same question, about depression that is, but fortunately my medical background means that I know the answer. And, I realize that I'm not depressed, I'm just in a sad funk that is probably the result of hormone or stress overload and I'll get through it with a good book and some wine (to be honest back).

So, hang in there, I'll pray for you...and if you truly think you are depressed, call your doctor. They have these very efficient (though not always effective) checklists to determine whether you are truly depressed or not.

Amanda said...

I am so sad about that tree! I was hoping that wasn't the one you said was uprooted. I have always loved that tree! There is just something about a weeping willow.

I think the funk is contagious. It's been a rough weekend. Maybe we should look into a correlation between the barometer and our mood.

Anonymous said...

This is so sad to me because the kids loved getting under this tree and pretending. Once we had a picnic under the tree. I thought it was the prettiest tree in my yard. I don't know whether to replant another one or let that be one of our special memories. Maybe I should ask the kids.

I hope you are feeling some better. Maybe some time with the girlfriends will help. Everyone needs some grown up time.


Anonymous said...


Wish I could have been in that dream.


The Beaver Bunch said...

That's too bad about the tree. I love, love, love weeping willows.

I agree about the funk. The end of last week and this weekend I was just flat out ANGRY for no good reason.