Friday Favorite

I've had an ipod for a few years now. Rob actually had one of the first, the mini. I recently upgraded to the Classic and I have loved it. Lucky me, I ran across this little dodad at Walmart on the clearance isle a few weeks ago. I can now enjoy my music in the bathroom while I dry my hair (might as well have cut my drying time in half as much as it keeps me entertained!) or at the pool. It doesn't get really loud without distorting the music a tad, but we are able to hear it fairly well if it is sitting near our chairs outside at the pool. The quality is great inside. I have loved it and it has already been well worth the $50. It also came with a little travel tote and the front piece where your ipod sits closes forward to fold the unit flat.

I've always felt like I couldn't use my ipod as much as I wanted to. I mean, it's a little hard to stick something in your ears and make the world go away when you have two children to tend to. But not anymore! So, go....... scrounge the clearance isle and free your ipod from the shackles to your ears and share the love :) So are you tired of my advertising yet? Too bad.

I do too, Avery.......

...btw, this video brought to you by the new Flip video. The thing is really neat. Thanks, Mandy.

The Beauty of Blogging

I fear sounding like a crazy person, but I must tell you. Blogging has changed my life. I mean, do you realize what blogs have done? I have been connected in the past year with people who I have never met in person but have given me some pretty amazing inspiration in so many areas of my life.

Have you realized that there is a blog for about every topic under the sun? Sadly, mine is just an eclectic mess, but it's who I am, what can I say? But I digress......

My first blog connections were mostly related to religious and spiritual journeys. These have inspired me in amazing ways and I still find them to be some of my favorites. I have even learned that some of my friends should really consider writing professionally. There are some gifted writers in this world and I have discovered that God is sure using the blogosphere for his glory!

I have also been able to keep up with family in friends in a deep and personal way. Where else but blogland can you find out what your cousin in Tennessee did this weekend, how her family felt about it, and see pictures at the same time. And all in the comfort of your own home without having to talk on the phone while your children try to rip off your clothing, try to change their own dirty diaper, and squirt toothpaste all over your bathroom floor. (Yes, this is what happens when I talk on the phone...)

My favorite new found blogs even have FASHION and DECORATING tips! How fabulous is that? I even found out tonight that you can hem a pair of jeans and actually keep the original hem intact! Can you believe that? Why hasn't this shorty heard of that before?


My favorite recent outcome of blogs has been our girls Bible study group that was formed through the inspiration of the LPM bloggers (or siestas). I don't know that the four of us would have ever hooked up for Bible study without it and we are able to share and learn so much about each other through blogging.

Speaking of Bible study, I haven't posted a complete summary, but, in a nutshell, we learned a lot, we ate a lot, we talked a lot, and we cried a little. It was an emotional night.

The thing that struck me most, was in Genesis 30 concerning the story of Rachel and Leah. This is what Kelly says in the book:

For Rachel, the idol of having children was so strong that it functioned as her life. Without them, she didn't want to live, so she had to do whatever it took to get children. They had become the "ultimate" thing, and people will do far crazier things when something threatens their ultimate thing......

.......We no longer need to be controlled by our cravings and lusts. We are no longer bound to jealousy and revenge and bitterness when something is taken from us, when we are mistreated, or when we experience loss. Why? Because Jesus Christ shows the incomparable riches of his grace to us along with His kindness. He becomes our ultimate thing, and the far lesser things that are threatened or compromised are nothing to be compared to who He is and what He can do for us.

It is rather contradictory to me to think that Rachel's desire for children was an idol. Children are wonderful, right? They are beautiful asset to our lives that God desires for us, right? But even though what she wanted was "good" it had overtaken her. Overtaken her to the point that she was desperate. How many times have we let our desires overcome our lives and the hope we have in Him? And, how many times have we led ourselves to believe that God would want us to become so wrapped up in it because it is surely something He wants for us. New jobs, children as in Rachel's case, a "better" church to worship, money...........

The beautiful thing about it is, however, that we can draw closer to Him when we realize that we may not get what we want. In our despair, we know that He is there and will comfort us. He knows we won't always understand and I believe he will ease our burden when we are disappointed.

So I must finish this now. I've been inspired to great things. If I could only just spend less time on the computer reading blogs.

Like I said "eclectic mess". Sorry......

Friday Favorite

Every Friday I am going to try to start posting a "favorite thing". I thought this might be a way for us girls to share those things we can't live without. I love sharing things I love. Although enjoying something myself is rather gratifying, I love to recommend things to my girls and hear that they love them, too!

Well, Angie over at Bring the Rain let me in on this little secret a few months back and I had to pick it up. Obviously, her post is not specifically about the cleaner but I thought, hey, if a cleaner can make you want to clean in that situation, then it must be sent from God, right? Well, boy was she right. I find myself wanting to clean my countertops at least 10 times a day just to release that intoxicating smell into my kitchen. I can't tell you that it is the most fabulous cleaner I have ever used, but it sure is the best smelling.

So run, don't walk, to Target and pick up some Method cleaner in the cucumber scent. Your home and your family will thank you.

PS.... we had another wonderful Bible Study experience this evening..... I'll post more later!

Guilty Pleasures
***update--I just had to tell you that tonight I had to transfer some "fundage" from savings to "tide me over" until payday on Friday. I told Rob so that he would hold me accountable for the payback. After hearing my story about the talking earrings, he asked if I thought that I was tempted by the earrings. I said, "Oh no, these earrings have crosses on them. I know Jesus wouldn't let that happen." Or would he? (I also told him about the amazing will power I was granted to pass up that purse--- Satan get thee behind me!)

I just had to share my super gluttonous purchase from my shopping excursion this evening. I mean, these darned earrings just screamed my name and would not stop calling me until I payed way too much for them and put them into my ears. Oh, they are super fabulous and they will go with oh so much. I think I just used the word "oh" two times in one sentence but it's the only way to justly describe the feeling of buying something you really love. Is that horrible? I did have to resist the perfect deal on a Kathy Zeeland purse at the Maxx due to my inability to ignore the call of the "two-toned-go-with-everything-they-even-have-some-bling" earrings. I'm sure it won't still be there next week. Oh, what a sacrafice....... I can't believe I just blogged about a pair of earrings. I love being a girl.

Heartbreaker



You've been to Build A Bear, right? You know how they stuff your bear and then put in a special heart and then sew him up? Well, Avery is annoyed that she can't get that heart out so this is the second bear that she has ripped open and torn the heart right out. Rob says, "Just like a woman........"

Doodle Monster

This is what happens when you hear, "Hey, Mom, I found my marker to my Doodle Monster...." and you don't get up and immediately take it away before a 2 year old gets a hold of it. She called it her "costume" and said "yook, I paint on my yip".***sigh***

Blackberry Season

Rob gets a little addicted to picking and seeing how many he can gather.


Avery ate more than she picked


MMMMmmmm. I've decided they are my favorite fruit.


I felt "domestic" and made some jam/preserves

Summer Bible Study Session Two - Pizza and Peace

I learned so much from this section's lesson about Sarah in Genesis. I hadn't thought about how much control Sarah tried to take over her situation and what complications arose from her trying to meet her own needs. This passage from Kelly's book spoke to me:

In Genesis 21 we see the fulfillment of God's plan, and this was going to happen with or without Hagar; with or without Ishmael; with or without Sarah's manipulation; with or without Abram's passiveness. But how nice if the story had simply been Isaac, without all the baggage.

How we complicate the process. I can't tell you how moved I was by this revelation last night, even on my crampled flight. God had this beautiful plan for Sarah in spite of how bleak things looked. Defitinely she was in a bind. She had genuine cause for concern. But that's always going to be the place where our faith is tested. If it all looks easy and doable, it doesnt require faith.

Certainly Sarah had waited a long time for a "life". But God had fully intended to give that to her. Not through Hagar. Not through Abraham. Not through Sarah's scheming. But through Himself. And of course we know He fulfilled this promise in Isaac. This gives me great encouragement to wait for God and keep my feisty little mitts off the process. It doesn't mean I sit around. There's plenty to do. It just means don't force the outcome.

How many time have I idolized the kind of control that Sarah so desired? I think control is especially hard for women. I mean, weren't we born to "fix boo boos"? It's hard to let God have control. But what I realized, is how actually "peaceful" it can be to give it to Him. Let him have it........ and wait........

This is the post I left on the LPM blog for our session update:

"Our group met last night in Pocahontas, AR (we are swapping between two small towns of Walnut Ridge and Pocahontas--about 15 miles apart). Three of the four of us were able to attend and enjoy the pizza, cheese bread, Greek cous cous salad, and cheesecake.....mmmmmmmm.

We identified our idols as success, control, worry, and happiness.

We were terrible at the acrostic and decided to take it on as homework.

We talked about our "laughable" moments of joy or turnaround delivered to us by God. One of the girls' husband has overcome some significant religious and family issues to bring their family to a deeper faith. One of us recalled a time that I just had to share with you.

About 4 years ago, the three of us bonded over your LPL meeting in Little Rock, AR. This was the event where "In Christ Alone" was the "theme" song. That song greatly impacted all of us and became a favorite. Little did I know, in just two months I would be facing the most difficult time in my life--the stillbirth of my daughter at 8 months pregnant. I don't know what I would have done without these ladies and my renewed faith in God. I played "In Christ Alone" at her funeral.

Almost 2 years to the day, we decided to attend another ladies conference together...... unfortunately I can't remember the name, but it was Priscilla Shirer, Angela Thomas, and Kelly Minter leading worship. We had another faith deepening experience and commented, after Priscilla's much needed lesson on discerning the voice of God, that we felt like things had come full circle-- like God was telling me in particular that it was time to heal that hurt. We also commented that it would be even more of a "moment" if we sang "In Christ Alone". Well, low and behold, guess what the next song was........ it was unbelieveable and all we could do was laugh and cry......

We are lovin' this study!

Stephanie"

Gift of Gab
Avery is napping (I know it's 7 o'clock, but our summer schedule is screwed up) and I was thinking of all of the funny things she says lately. Here are a few of my favorites......

*Mommy, you memmer? Yessernight?
*Can a have one of does? Sur I can!!
*Mommy, I so pou uh you...... (usually when I'm on the toilet.... sorry if this is TMI)
*Dis is a bahereenna! (anytime she puts on a dress)
*Yet's go fwimmin
*I pee pee...... I nee a Hersee Bah! (she gets a Hershey Bar when she goes potty)
*insert rooster crow* It's summertime........ I wake up! (when I tell her to go to sleep, she closes her eyes and does this)
*I nee my see kuh (I need my sippy cup)
*I nee a pockle (popsicle) and I ri my bye-kle (bicycle)

She really amazes me with all she can do. She can ride a tricycle, and has been for a few months, and she can put all of her shoes on. It is unbelievable how differently girls progress than boys and how differently they play and think about things. God has some amazing designs!

Crazy Eights

Amanda tagged me back and this looked like fun....

Eight things I'm passionate about:

*God Enough said

*my husband I know, I know there are some of you who wonder if Rob and I really love each other because we bicker so much. But, beyond that, we are best friends. I crave time with him and don't get as much as I want.

*my kids It's easy for me to get bogged down in the "day to day" with the kids (especially lately---summer has recently gotten harder again) but I am constantly worrying and pondering what I can do better as a mother and I often get wrapped up in whatever they are currently interested in.

*photography I love taking pictures and playing around with different photo processing programs.

*do-it-yourself I am constantly seeing things and thinking, "I could make/do that......" This has created lots of half done projects around my house. (I'm passionate in my intentions and ideas, but not so much in the execution).

*good friends/family I am a very dependent person and "need" good friends and family. I've been lucky to be blessed with many good friends. Some of my good friends have seen me through some pretty crappy times and I don't know what I would have done without them.

*gadgets I love technology and can't wait to get the newest gadgets. I not smart enough to always know why they work, but I love it that they do!

*television/Tivo I hate add this to this list, but TV has provided me with some pretty necessary "calgon" moments. And if it weren't for my dear friend, Tivo, I would never, ever get to watch TV anyway. This way, I can watch it when it is convenient for me and I'm not a slave to the TV.

Eight things I would like to do before I die:
(a lot of things that could be on this list, I am too chicken to even think about)

*get a tattoo This seems to be a common theme....... must be our age or something
*drink Dom Perignon or Cristal
*see my kids become Christians, get married, have children---grow
*have both Rob and I on regular working schedules
*be able to retire and enjoy time with Rob
*go to Europe----anywhere
*go to New York
*be skinny

Eight things I say a lot:

*Stop
*How old are you?
*Wh0 made this mess?
*Go to bed/go to sleep
*I don't know
*It's up to you
*What's up?
*I stayed up too late

Eight books I have read recently (or in the process of reading):

The Memory Keeper's Daughter
Lipstick Jungle
Velvet Elvis
Blue Like Jazz
Bible
No Other Gods

(I can't think of any others...... not a big book reader lately)

Eight movies I have seen eight times:
(I'm not big on watching movies over and over..... they just have to happen to be on TV or something)

Steel Magnolias
Dirty Dancing
Grease
Lion King 1 1/2 (Tate was in the hospital once and I counted at least 10)
Wizard of Oz
It's a Wonderful Life
Silence of the Lambs
Elf

Eight blogger (or blog readers) friends I tag.... if you don't have a blog, post it as a comment:

Kristi
Kari
Andrea S
Andrea A
Leah
Gary or Lynetta
Mom
(could only come up with 7)

Fotofusion Fun

My niece

I have so many things I need to be doing today besides wasting time making collages. But I had so much fun tweaking these for the last few hours while Avery napped. Still seems like a waste of time........ Why do I always feel guilty about hobbies?

Midsummer Highlights

Cheese Dip and Church Ladies - Session One

Well we kicked off our summer Bible study with three of us here at my house on Tuesday night. We had some great food--Amanda, that queso rocked--and some great conversation! We reviewed our memory verse for the summer and decided we couldn't hang with the competition for the best memorization idea. Our best idea was to put it to the tune of the Barney theme song because Kristi said she heard once that the tune helps developmentally delayed kids learn (leave it to two speech therapist-one turned behavioral interventionist-and a physical therapist to come up with that one).

We discussed our personal struggles with being closer to God and realized that many of our struggles come from our deep history in religion. "Do I fully believe God is capable?"..... "Do I compartmentalize my faith?"........ "Am I close to God, or am I just going through the motions?"....... "How do I share, and teach, and give without becoming bogged down in it all?" Who knew that growing up in religion could be so hard? Correct me if I am wrong, ladies, but I feel that although we are all from different "seasons" of our lives, it is evident that our struggles are common. We are each modern women, unable to accept the "church lady" identity, but hungry for a closer walk with God and understanding our place in the religious world.

I did my first two days of homework and am excited to start discussion on what our modern day idols are. It was interesting to me to realize that not all of these idols have to be negative things. I've also always pictured "idols" as being tangible, but in our study, they are described as something operating as our god..... something we want "too much". It can be a physical object or a property, a person, an activity, a role, an institution, a hope, an image, an idea, a pleasure, or a hero. What are some things that you feel can hold us captive on this earth?

Summer Bible Study Update

Just letting you know that we (Amanda, Kristi, Amy, and I) are starting a summer Bible study tomorrow evening at 6:30 pm at my house. It's not too late if you want to join us either online or at my house! We'd love to have ya! I must tell you that I made one of the recipes tonight and it was a doosie! Took me over an hour just to prepare! It's gonna be good and I was so excited to make it for such a worthy bunch! Get caught up with what we will be doing tomorrow here. Watch Beth's video and get geared up for some good fellowship, fun, and most importantly, God's word!

Summer Bible Study!

Beth Moore's Living Proof Minisitries blog has suggested a summer Bible study and several of us have decided it would be a great idea. So far, there are 4 of us who will meet at my house every other Tuesday night. If anyone would like to join in either at my house (if you are local) or online, get a book and let me know. If we have some friends who want to join in online, we'll post discussion questions and blog about it! We are starting next Tuesday night at 6:30ish. There will be good food and fellowship, from what I hear. LPM has some suggestions (recipes and such) for each meeting and we think it will be fun to follow! Hope you can join us!

Cardboard Testimonies

Did you recognize yourself? I did....... several times. Thank God for his saving grace! What would our relationships with our brothers and sisters in Christ and those not yet in Christ be like if we were more honest about ourselves and what God has done for us?

I've been tagged!

Leah tagged me so here goes:

1. What did you do 10 years ago?
Wow, it's hard to remember ten years ago. Since I just celebrated my 12th anniversary, I can say I had been married 2 years. I was 23 years old and was going to college-- I know, I was on the 7 year plan for getting a masters degree.

2. Five items on your to-do list today: (since its late, i'll put it for tomorrow)
Get Avery and Tate ready for swimming lessons, help Deana with swimming lessons (just for tomorrow), get back on a healthier eating plan, do some laundry, and cook supper

3. Snacks I enjoy:
Good snacks: fiber one bars (beware! these can mess you up), honey wheat pretzel sticks, chocolate covered pretzel 100 calorie packs, laughing cow cheese wedges and pretzel chips
Indulgent Bad snacks: strawberries and chocolate, cheez its, little powdered donuts, chedder cheese and crackers

4. What would you do if you were a billionaire?
Quit my job and stay home...... then I would: do more at church, do more volunteering at the kids school, and get a second car that got better gas mileage (I guess I wouldn't care about gas mileage if I were a billionaire, huh?)

5. Places I would live:
I really do love living in Walnut Ridge because I am close to my family, but if I could take my family, I would live at the beach anywhere or specifically in Hawaii

That was fun Leah! I tag Kari, Amanda, Kristi, and Andrea.

My New Job

There is much debate about which is harder, being a working mother or being a stay at home mom. I am lucky enough to get to sample both, as I have a job where I am off about 6-8 weeks in the summer. But the hardest thing is transitioning between the two. Every summer, I spend the first few weeks just trying to find my footing - trying to fingure out, "What is my job?". Although it looks like it would be simple, it really takes some adjustment.

My typical day at work consists of as much control and order as I can pull off. I am NOT an organized person but I do feel like I have "control" over my day. At the beginning of the year things are pretty hairy. But by second semester, I feel like I'm a bit more with it. Have you noticed how much easier it is to make other people's kids mind?

As most of you know, my afternoons and evenings after work are often spent at home alone with my children. So, sometimes, home is more stressful for me than my job. The summer months are just an extension of this.......

The kids evidently feel like they have free reign of the house and are intent on trying to open every cabinet and drag out every thing they haven't had the time at home to look at in the last nine months. They are also used to being occupied and entertained so I end up feeling like "activities coordinator". When you have to be "cop" and "activities coordinator", who has time to be the "cook", right? No, three meals (or more) must be prepared and cleaned up each day. My dishwasher runs at least 3 times every day in the summer.

In the first few days, I think that being at home 24 hours a day with both the kids will make me go out of my mind. But after a week or so, I get my groove. I realize that there is no conference tomorrow or homework or therapy to plan for. This is my new job-- full time parent. And the summer months make me enjoy being a parent even more.

Thank you, God, for blessing me with a wonderful job where I am given this opportunity.

Journals and Journeys

Four measly little pages. My sad attempt at a journal. I've always wanted to keep a journal; something to log my thoughts, hopes, dreams. Something to have, to read, to reflect. But every time I started, I realized quickly that I didn't know what to write. If you ask my friends, they might say that it's just another project I've yet to finish (notice I said "yet"). But to me, it was a project that never got off the ground at all.

My first attempt came when Tate was two. I decided is would be a great way to write down all the funny stories and things he said. Well for those who know Tate, there wasn't much to write. He was a quiet introspective toddler with little to say and much to think about. The few journal entries I logged ended up sounding more like a medical chart than a personal account......

"Tate saying lots of words to label and request and putting some 2 wd phrases together -"bye nanny", "dat horse". Tate said "nome snack" and signed more in class and participates in activities well."

My next attempt at journaling came at a frustrating time in my life - four months after the stillbirth of our daughter.

"I want so badly to be pregnant again. I wanted and planned for a baby that never came. Tonight Tate just came up to me and said, "Mommy, I'm so proud of you." He is such a loving, funny child. I am so grateful to have him. I love and miss you baby Reese. Mommy would love to hold you just one more time. I miss you everyday......... sweet, beautiful baby girl"

And three and a half months later, I was still frustrated.

"Well, we are 10 weeks pregnant and here I am at the pity party again. This is so unfair. I've done this just less than one year ago--why do I have to go through another pregnancy! I know it sounds ungrateful. Many women would give anything to carry their own child for nine months. But for me, it feels like torture. The worry, the waiting--it just isn't as fun when you know what bad things can happen. I don't know if I can endure the mental torture! I've had to go to the doctor 2 weeks earlier than scheduled because I thought I would lose my mind with worry. I just want to be happy again and innocent - unaware of what can happen and how it can tear your heart out. God, I need you to strengthen me AGAIN...... you've been there for me before.... help me again..... I feel like I am self destructing. Pick me up and dust me off. Lord help me lean on You!"

Blogging is the closest thing I've come to journaling in over 3 years and I'm still not that good at it. But those sporadic entries with words so simple they must have truly come from some deep crevasse in my soul have reminded me of the journey I've taken, the plan God has for me, and the realization that only He knows what is best for me.

This week, I have been thoughtful of the change in my life after Reese came and left so quickly. I'll never forget the moment I knew that I would be different. After the initial "I AM GOING TO DIE" feeling subsided, I knew God had a plan and Reese's death would not be in vain. I know now that God sent Reese to change my life. I am a changed person because of her. Life events such as this wound us. But when we are healed, we have a scar to remind us - a scar to share, to show, and to use. Thank you Lord for knowing just what we need......